Did I ever have fantasies of myself as Mike’s wife? I did. However, I feel it is also quite likely that it was not until after he died in Vietnam that I found myself thinking about it as something that might have happened. His death took him from me and in a way took away a future I might have known. Now it is true, it is unlikely that Mike and I would have ever been a couple, if he had returned from war. But I had lost my grandmother several years earlier and the two of them were my strongest connection to the life I had as a girl — and the life I could have had as a young woman.